Monday, October 19, 2009

On IT development

A welcome return to The Arse of LopezThis ACTUALLY happened.* Oh, the wacky world of IT development meetings.

"But what if I want to upload a picture of my arse?"

"Why? In the name of sanity – WHY?"

"Well… I might want to upload a picture of my arse. If we've got the functionality that allows a user to upload a picture of their arse - by jiminy - uploading a picture of their arse is EXACTLY what the users will do."

Others agree, noting which way the metaphorical wind is blowing. And it is toward arses: "Arses will be uploaded. Mark my words. Oh yes."

"Hmmm… That's a thought. We're going to need some sort of data capture that prevents users from uploading a picture of their arse."

"You do realise," chimes the voice of sanity, holder of the budget, "this is going to have to go through Change Control? Could cost the business THOUSANDS."

"Yeah – but we've got to stop users uploading a picture of their arse."

"OK," says the bean-counter with a sigh, "Action point: IT Contractors to develop Arse-Detecting software."

[ ... pause ... ]

"Woah, there. Wait a sec. Hold your horses. What if I want to upload a picture of my arse for business purposes?"

"Good point, well made. IT Contractors to add a 'This picture of my arse uploaded for business purposes' checkbox."

[ ... pause ... ]

"What about knockers?"

"Knockers are fine."

* I am obliged to point out that this exchange may not actually have happened.**

** But it did

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