Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Behold: The STUFF of the GODS

Foods of the Gods (Official list)

  • Cheese on Toast
  • Tomato ketchup sandwiches
  • Egg and Chips
  • Tea, NATO standard
  • Peanut Chunky Kitkats
  • Ear wax
  • Set meal for two, Ming Wah restaurant, Weymouth

Sports of the Gods (Official list)

  • Swingball
  • Synchro swimming
  • Penguin pile-up
  • Pirate-themed crazy golf
  • Sending a classical hero on a near-impossible life-or-death quest for some elusive treasure, battling mythic beasts, slaying stop-motion skeletons and rescuing semi-naked yet chaste maidens. Then killing him to death in a bizarre spacehopper accident, for the LULz
  • Pro-Celebrity Nail-Gun

Naturally, if you disagree with ANY aspect of these lists, you are a BLASPHEMER and will be dealt with accordingly.

Cruel and Unusual Punishments for BLASPHEMERS, lollygaggers and scullions of the Gods (Official list)

  • Fired out of a circus cannon up Jimmy Carr's arse

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