Monday, May 16, 2011

On discovering the OTHER bit about donkeys in the Bible

On discovering the OTHER bit about donkeys in the Bible

You might know by now that I'm a deity-curious atheist. I'm not so hardcore that I despise everything about religion, but dip my toe in every now and then to see what I'm missing, and have a damn good laugh about it later.

Let's face it, any religion that's trying to cope with a bit of an image problem could really do without inviting Robert Mugabe to the Vatican for the Beatification of former Pope John Paul II, but that's exactly what they did.

And, as you know, I like a good laugh at leaflets written by some of the more fringe, utterly fruitcake groups that are attracted to organised religion.

Call it 'Know Your Enemy'.

So, imagine this conversation:

Him: "You do realise there's a verse in the Bible about donkey cocks?"

Me: "There's a what whatty what what?"

Him: "Donkey. Cocks."

These men of the cloth. They're all the same.

But there is. And I quote:

Ezekiel 23:19-21
(19) Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. (20) There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. (21) So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

They never showed us THAT one in Sunday School.

Good grief, if the so-called Good Book has that kind of scud, what else is there?

"And the LORD sayeth: Thou two girls take up this one cup that it runneth over with thyne own filth and thou shalt...(continues for several pages)... and the LORD was much disgusted and he SMOTE them with his iron rod"
No wonder the Pope's always got that look on his face, if this is his bedtime reading.

And don't even get me started on Isaiah 36:12.

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