Thursday, June 30, 2011

Great Psychic Reading

Great Psychic Reading

"Don't answer spam emails," people say, "It only encourages the bastards."

But when you get one with the subject line "Pay nothing for a Psychic Reading today", I simply cannot contain myself, for I am nothing but one of those crazy fools Mr.T warned you about.

Dear Tara

Thank you for your kind offer for a free Psychic Reading, which was not entirely unexpected. In fact, I'd go as far as saying that I knew you were going to say that. And so did my friend Sam. Bless you, Sam.

However, as a resident of Psychic Reading - the Thames Valley's capital of yummy mummies and Lost Cat signs - I feel I must turn you down, due to the bylaws about BLASPHEMING and WITCHERY, of which you appear to be an eminent proponent.

I look forward to your confession and subsquent firey death in the cleansing flames of OUR LORD.

Your new pal,

Albert O'Balsam
And if that doesn't confuse them, I don't know what will.

And in other news: A new lost cat poster has arrived.

Cannot end well.

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