On accidentally killing your drinking buddies TO DEATH
I am in a public house.
I am Billy No-Mates, as the friend I am expecting has not yet arrived.
A text message!
"I'm going to be late. Bear with me."
Naturally, I took the only sane option: I finished my pint, called the police, the RSPCA and the local zoo, before drafting a reply to my imperiled pal
"ON NO ACCOUNT SHOULD YOU LOOK BEAR IN THE EYE"
"MAKE NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS OR SOUNDS. BEARS HATE THAT"
"IF YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, PUT YOUR PHONE TO SILENT. SORRY ABOUT LAST TWO TEXTS LOL"
He does not reply. A tragedy.