Entering into a new relationship, I have found myself asked a lot of difficult questions recently. For example:But the one that really caught me on the hop was:
"What is your stance on marmite?" (WIN)
"Milk in before tea, or after?" (LOSE)
"Dessert or cheeseboard?"I like dessert. But I also like cheeses. Can't a man, I ask, have both?
"No," she replies, "With a gun to your head: Dessert or cheeseboard?"
"Any reason for this?"
"Where eating out at that new Russian place round the corner," she tells me.
"Kalashnikov's?"
"Kalashnikov's. The maitre'd is a BASTARD."
"So I've heard," I reply, "people are paying top dollar to be seen there. In fact, dollars are all they'll take."
There is neither dessert nor cheeseboard. Only the smell of fear.
5 comments:
Real men don't eat dessert at restaurants. They eat a pound of stinking bishop washed down with port and spend the rest of the night complaining of chest pains and breaking wind.
The only exception is black forest gateaux. Which is Russian, surely?
Kalashnikov's? Isn't that the one where they can't tell the proprietor that Russian's don't buy their wares for fear the shock would kill him? And beware of the cheese board. It comes on a rotating dish, which you must spin and select a cheese at random, but one of them is, in fact, a lump of C4.
The correct answer is that combination of the two major foodgroups...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.cheesecake.
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