On travelling in time
I make a phone call.
"Hello - Time Transport, can I help you?"
"Ah yes. Good morning, I have one of your business cards here, and I was wondering if you might be able to do a job for me."
"Yes sir, when would you like our services?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Well, I've got the lottery numbers here, and I reckon you at Time Transport could take me back to last Friday, I'd put my money on and we can go 50-50 on the winnings. No, better still - 60-40."
"I think you've made some sort of mistake, sir. Time Transport is the name of the company, we don't actually do time travel."
"OK, I understand. You've been doing the lottery thing for weeks. You don't want me queering your patch."
"But let me tell you this - where are you going to get the Uranium for the Flux Capacitor now that Colonel Gaddafi's dead?"
That could have gone better.