"Don't answer spam emails," people say, "It only encourages the bastards."
But when you get one with the subject line "Pay nothing for a Psychic Reading today", I simply cannot contain myself, for I am nothing but one of those crazy fools Mr.T warned you about.
Dear TaraAnd if that doesn't confuse them, I don't know what will.
Thank you for your kind offer for a free Psychic Reading, which was not entirely unexpected. In fact, I'd go as far as saying that I knew you were going to say that. And so did my friend Sam. Bless you, Sam.
However, as a resident of Psychic Reading - the Thames Valley's capital of yummy mummies and Lost Cat signs - I feel I must turn you down, due to the bylaws about BLASPHEMING and WITCHERY, of which you appear to be an eminent proponent.
I look forward to your confession and subsquent firey death in the cleansing flames of OUR LORD.
Your new pal,
And in other news: A new lost cat poster has arrived.
Cannot end well.