The Daily Mail - the Flying Spagetti Monster help us all - is the world's most popular news website and provider of internet linkbait. Instead of thumping our chests at this dreadful state of affairs, here are some facts about the Fdaily Mail as we celebrate that unique British success story:
Founded by famed necromancer and all-found nuisance Aleistair Crowley in 1898 as a joke, the first front page read "Can Dread Cthulhu Give You Cancer?" For the first and only time in the history of the Daily Mail, the answer being "Yes"Let's hear it for the Daily Mail, everybody!
The Mail's oft-quoted "Hurrah for the Blackshirts!" article from 1934 is often taken out of context. Instead of praising Oswald Moseley's fascists, the item by Lord Rothermere was actually in praise of Manchester United's newly-unveiled change kit
The Daily Mail website's Right Hand Column of Doom goes all the way down through the middle of the Earth, coming out the other side of the planet with stories about Australian celebrities in bikinis
On the one occasion a story accidentally appeared in the Daily Mail's Right Hand Column Of Doom which did not feature a female celebrity in a bikini, the sub-editor on that duty was dragged out, flooged and forced to change their name by deed poll to Daily Mail Reporter
According to official records, there are 27 people working at the Daily Mail who have changed their names by deed poll to Daily Mail Reporter
Laugh a minute Daily Mail columnist Richard Littlejohn is famed for his catchphrase "You couldn't make it up", which is ironic as it's something he manages at least twice a week. THIS IS SATIRE AT WORK, PEOPLE
Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre says the title has never resorted to phone hacking to obtain celebrity stories. Also on his phone messages, he's going to be late home tonight, and "God, I hate talking to answerphones" THIS IS ALSO SATIRE AT WORK, PEOPLE
5 comments:
Ah, God bless the Daily Mail.
Ah, The Daily Mail; soft, strong and thoroughly absorbent.
Dear Mr Duck,
The B.B.C. has calumniated those who use The Font of Champions:
Those who employ Comic Sans are the kind of people who want to make dull activities sound fun. A Comic Sans user may also display passive aggressive tendencies particularly when highlighting falling standards in the canteen. "These cups don't wash themselves" looks cheery in A4 on the wall, but inside the author is a seething cauldron of rage. '
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17298027
Paul Dacre = C*NT.
That is all.
Where would we all be without this wonderful organ of truth! Shame on you!
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